Well hello there, folks. Fancy meeting you here. If you’re reading this, then you’ve probably become accustomed to my weekly Comeback Chronicles, which detail my return to running, sport and fitness after falling and breaking my ankle in December last year.
However this week’s post is going to be slightly different, for two reasons. Firstly, I’ve been sick all week. Like, sick as a dog. Some Summer flu that’s been doing the rounds. Cue a week spent (mostly) in bed watching (mostly) House of Cards on Netflix. Secondly and as a consequence of this, I’ve taken a whole week off sport, running, fitness… you name it. That’s left me with plenty of time to think. And in case you were wondering, I hate spending time alone with my thoughts.
I’ve come to realise, perhaps more so than normally, that running really is a form of therapy for me. It sounds silly, but that rush of endorphins and movement of limbs really acts as a way for me to process whatever it is that’s going on for me at any given time. And currently, that’s quite a lot. I haven’t spoken about it before on here, but I’ve been having a really tough year. One morning in January, my Dad sat my Mum down and told her in no uncertain terms that he was leaving her. And then, just like that, he left. The divorce papers were signed by April, and finalised in June. And just like that, my family broke apart.
I’m not meaning to sound overdramatic here. But it’s just that your family unit is something you take for granted, and no matter how bad things get in your own life, your family is usually there in the background, ticking along as usual. Having that unit taken away from you is like having the ground fall away from under your feet. What was once a certainty is now a tangled mess, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
I bring this up because this is a time in my life where I really need to be able to run. When a situation is making you unhappy, there’s usually something to be done about it. But in this case, it’s simply a case of processing and accepting a whole host of changes, and letting it sink in. It’s like a loss, and in that sense I really need to be able to process. I don’t have a goal at the moment, and I could really use something to throw myself into. If it weren’t for my injury, I would almost certainly be training for a marathon right now. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be.
I feel like I need to recalibrate. I need a new goal – something to throw myself into entirely. A marathon is out of the question, but I need something to aim towards in the midst of all the chaos.