Christmas was somewhat difficult this year. I love Christmas spent with my family, but at the same time it can be quite intense. Running is usually my way to cope- physically removing myself from potentially overwhelming situations and substituting them for fresh air and endorphins. Sadly this year that was not the case. Add to that the fact that I’m somewhat incapacitated, and can’t actually do a lot for myself (even make a cup of coffee!) and you can see why this year was a Christmas I’d rather forget.
You know how it’s easy and often tempting to regress into old family dynamics when returning to your family home? Well it’s quite tricky not to do that when you’re physically incapacitated and have to rely on those around you. I felt childlike and like a sad, Bridget Jones type at the same time. It’s been difficult!
Here’s The Good, The Bad and The Ugly:
- I got to eat great food and have my family bring me cups of coffee
- Crutches are great for upper body strength- I’m gonna have Michelle Obama arms by the time I’m done
- I got to get outside most days, even just for a hobble down the road with Shadow
- The Matriarchs (Mum and both my Grandmothers) taught me how to knit. I have a scarf in the making! It’s fugly, and I don’t care.
- I finally got to binge watch Parks and Rec, which had been on my must-watch list for ages!
- I worked on (and reevaluated) my goals for 2017
- My pup Shadow was by my side to give me hugs and slobbery kisses…yum.
- I got to bust out my sparkly Christmas leggings because I can’t fit anything else over my swollen ankle!
- I couldn’t run, walk or really do anything for myself all Christmas
- Lack of running = grouchiness
- Everyone’s Christmas gifts were kind of crap because I was unable to go do my last-minute shopping!
- I can already feel my whole body getting a bit softer. As much as I’m not overindulging, I’m also being conscious not to restrict, so that my body can use all that energy for healing!
- My foot. I mean, really. It’s disgusting. The swelling has now mostly gone down, but it’s a multitude of colours thanks to the bruising. It’s been too painful to shave, and wearing a cast all day makes your foot smell kinda nasty. TMI?
- My mood has not been the greatest. I’ve been trying my hardest not to take it out on the people around me, but I worry that I’ve failed. I’m overwhelmed by the prospect of jobhunting without being able to walk, especially when the alternative is festering all day in my can’t-work-can’t-walk stupor. I’m trying to give myself a kick up the backside, but it’s a case of baby steps right now
I’m off for an MRI on the ankle in a few hours. Following that, I have an appointment in the New Year to evaluate if I’ll need surgery, or just immobilization and a ton of physiotherapy. I’m trying to remain positive and have faith that this will all work out in the end.
How was your Christmas?
Lots of love,