I set out on Easter Sunday for an easy 10-mile taper run. I’d been looking forward to this run ever since my peak session the week before, and was especially excited to be able to run in the countryside.
I decided to set my alarm for 6am so I could be up, fed and watered and outta the door by 8am. Except that didn’t happen. I woke at 10 as my alarm hadn’t gone off- because my phone had fallen out from under my pillow and smashed. No phone? No music, no podcasts, no nothing.
I finally set out at around 11am after two cups of coffee and some PB on toast. Apparently, not enough fuel. I was struggling on Herefordshire’s hilly roads after less than a mile. That’s the problem with the countryside- as beautiful as it is, the scenery doesn’t change, meaning there are no markers to pass the time or gauge your progress.
Here’s a quick rundown of the second worst run of all time:
Miles 1-2: Horrific, hilly, windy and rainy. I was out of breath by mile 0.52: ouch.
Miles 2-4: I went off road to try and avoid some rather sizeable hills. I got lost and ended up trailing along the river.
Miles 4-6: Hit a dead end (ie. a tributary to the river) so turned back, desperately trying to find a road. A swan chased me out of a field, and I got zapped by an electric fence.
Miles 6-8: Stopped to stretch and ended up kneeling by the roadside looking into a field of lambs. I was so exhausted and existential that these little bundles of joy made me a little weepy. Once I finally got running again, I got called a jogger by a man who was out walking his dog. #notimpressed
Miles 8-9: More hills. In fact, the exact hills i’d been trying to avoid when I’d foolishly gone off road. I stopped so many times, breathless and cramping. In my head I channelled Kara Goucher: “If Kara can do it, I can”.
Miles 9-10: I started receiving worried texts from my Dad, who kindly offered to come pick me up. It was cold and raining again by this point and I couldn’t feel my hands, so I couldn’t text back and accept his offer.
Mile 11: A bonus mile since I’d miscalculated my distance. Painful, obviously. I returned home feeling like I’d gone on a very long and very traumatic journey, rather like Frodo and his hobbit friends. Ouch!
What’s the worst run you’ve ever been on?
Have you ever been chased random wildlife?
Lots of love,