The Second Worst Run of My Life

I set out on Easter Sunday for an easy 10-mile taper run. I’d been looking forward to this run ever since my peak session the week before, and was especially excited to be able to run in the countryside.

I decided to set my alarm for 6am so I could be up, fed and watered and outta the door by 8am. Except that didn’t happen. I woke at 10 as my alarm hadn’t gone off- because my phone had fallen out from under my pillow and smashed. No phone? No music, no podcasts, no nothing.

I finally set out at around 11am after two cups of coffee and some PB on toast. Apparently, not enough fuel. I was struggling on Herefordshire’s hilly roads after less than a mile. That’s the problem with the countryside- as beautiful as it is, the scenery doesn’t change, meaning there are no markers to pass the time or gauge your progress.

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Here’s a quick rundown of theΒ second worst run of all time:

Miles 1-2: Horrific, hilly, windy and rainy. I was out of breath by mile 0.52: ouch.

Miles 2-4: I went off road to try and avoid some rather sizeable hills. I got lost and ended up trailing along the river.

Miles 4-6: Hit a dead end (ie. a tributary to the river) so turned back, desperately trying to find a road. A swan chased me out of a field, and I got zappedΒ by an electric fence.

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Still, coulda been worse!

Miles 6-8: Stopped to stretch and ended up kneeling by the roadside looking into a field of lambs. I was so exhausted and existential that these little bundles of joy made me a little weepy. Once I finally got running again, I got called a jogger by a man who was out walking his dog. #notimpressed

Miles 8-9: More hills. In fact, the exact hills i’d been trying to avoid when I’d foolishly gone off road. I stopped so many times, breathless and cramping. In my head I channelled Kara Goucher: “If Kara can do it, I can”.

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Feel free to steal this and pin it on your wall

Miles 9-10: I started receiving worried texts from my Dad, who kindly offered to come pick me up. It was cold and raining again by this point and I couldn’t feel my hands, so I couldn’t text back and accept his offer.

Mile 11: A bonus mile since I’d miscalculated my distance. Painful, obviously. I returned home feeling like I’d gone on a very long and very traumatic journey, rather like Frodo and his hobbit friends. Ouch!

 

What’s the worst run you’ve ever been on?

Have you ever been chasedΒ random wildlife?

 

Lots of love,

Pippa

 

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16 thoughts on “The Second Worst Run of My Life

  1. Channelling my inner Miss Marple, but how did you receive texts if the old mobile was on the blink? Signed Mr Pedantic. On the plus side, you got out and ran, despite all the mishaps along the way: you were late up, your phone committed hara-kiri, you hadn’t eaten enough, the weather was crap, and even the wildlife conspired against you. In one sense (and with the benefit of hindsight and a hot bath) these can turn out to the best runs, not the worst. Something about character building, and all that! πŸ˜‰

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  2. Your comparing your 11 miles to the hobbits trek across Middle Earth, battling orcs, goblins, etc. is not okay.
    Just kidding.
    It’s sounds like a horrible run… but a great story to tell people! πŸ™‚
    Hope you got some good rest and are ready for the rest of your taper (which should be a fun thing, btw).

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  3. Oh man. I’m so sorry!! Yeah I’ve had my fair share of crappy runs that may or may not include wildlife. My Sunday run was rainy and windy and without music and crappy. But you know what? I came out alive and so did you !! You’re tough. And sometimes our toughness is tried and tested. Hope you had a warm beverage post run!!!

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  4. These are the kind of runs that give us stories to tell in future!
    I once had a close encounter with some rampaging cows during the only hill race I’ve ever done. Steve has had a couple of issues with a bird of prey not far from where we live. Clearly protecting its nest when it has young but scary for runners!

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