When I first decided to get fit, I was all about physique. To be honest, I was all like I wanna look good naked! I gave absolutely no fucks about what my body could do; I just wanted to look good in a bikini.
But then of course, I rediscovered running. I started following #girlswholift on Instagram. Gradually, my focus shifted from what I looked like, to what I could do. Instead of running being a way to eat without guilt, or to eat more, it became important to me to stay fit, test my body, and hit PRs.
I had lost a lot of weight, and over the summer I started to appreciate just how skinny I was; I started to realise just how much risk I was putting myself at, as a runner, by underfuelling. So I ate more, and stabilised my weight. And now, I actually want to get big; I mean lean-muscle big. I look at girls like Nikki Blackletter and Brittany Lesser and think damn, I wish my ass looked like that. Lifting is empowering, and I’m so pleased I’m starting to see muscle growth and definition.
However the eternal struggle remains: I want to look like a bodybuilder, but achieve progress as a long distance runner. My goals seem completely at odds with eachother; if I want to gain muscle, I shouldn’t be doing too much cardio. And if I want to run long distances, I need to stay relatively lean. So what am I doing? I’m trying to find a middle ground. Of course, improved muscle tone and stability can only help me as a runner, which I’m more than happy about. But I have to accept that for now, I’m not going to look like a bodybuilder. Huge #bootygainz will not be mine, probably, until I’m done with this marathon.
But either way, I’m starting to appreciate my body as a work in progress, as opposed to a fixed state; the same goes for my fitness goals. They can be fluid, and I don’t have to define myself as one thing or the other. That’s the great thing about fitness- its adaptability!
And one other thing; there are so many different ways to look like a badass! (Slightly NSFW).
So here’s to striking a balance, as with all things in life.
What are your physique goals? Do they clash with your fitness goals?
Lots of love,